You Don’t Have Children, So You Wouldn’t Understand

Worried, Judgmental, Or Bored Woman

Sometimes birth workers question the idea that anyone who hasn’t given birth could ever get into this career. I find this to be a ridiculous notion. Why would one need to give birth first in order to offer support to someone who is giving birth?

As if supporting others through their births is about us in any way at all.

What other careers can you think of that require this of their workers?

  • Do surgeons have to have gone under the knife themselves?
  • Do divorce lawyers have to be divorced?
  • Have you ever met a male gynecologist or obstetrician?
  • Do hospice workers need to have died in order to support people at the end of their lives?

I have found that the best workers in any career are those who are passionate about what they do.

In my years as a doula, I can tell you that my clients have never felt like I was unable to fully support them just because I have not had children of my own yet. Most of my clients don’t even know that I don’t have children. Why? They don’t ask. Why not? Because I am damn knowledgeable about what I do. This is my chosen career and I am well-educated on pregnancy, birth, postpartum, and newborns. Any prospective client who spends 15 minutes with me knows that I know what I am talking about.

If we are to tell women that every pregnancy, birth, and child are different, then how can we say doulas are better only once they have had their own children? Making that statement is to assume that every pregnancy or birth will be like the one the doula had. What about those who are unable to have children? Does that make them any less of a doula? Absolutely not.

Some doulas find this path through their own birth experiences and some doulas are born with the natural ability to be nurturing, empathetic, and supportive. It is truly a calling and passion, for all who find themselves in this career. At Music City Doulas, we are lucky to have doulas who have had children and doulas who have not. We know that every single doula at Music City Doulas is highly capable of providing the most elevated support possible by being fully present, unbiased, and strong communicators.

All of our doulas have an incredible drive and passion to support families in one of the most extraordinary and fulfilling times in their lives.


2 responses to “You Don’t Have Children, So You Wouldn’t Understand”

  1. Lacey says:

    Amen! Love, a fellow childless doula

  2. Celebrating 15 years as a doula THIS MONTH, I have not had a biological child. I love that you pointed out that PASSION ABOUT BIRTHING MOTHERS is the key ingredient for being a doula, and that well trained doulas are doulas regardless of if they have given birth! You are AWESOME!