Reconciling Motherhood and Myself
I was never sold on the idea of having kids. In fact, I was terrified of being someone’s mother. But, sometimes we eat our words and do things we said we never would.
If you need a huge dose of humility in your life, I highly recommend doing something you said you would never do, or becoming a parent.
Parenthood wasn’t the sort of thing I could hide, or count on people forgetting about. As soon as you become a mother, it changes the way the entire world sees you. Whether you always saw yourself having children or not, chances are you will have to adjust to this new and large piece of your identity.
My good news is that although it took me a while, I feel that I am possible, even in these circumstances. Even though my day-to-day couldn’t be farther from what I thought it would be at this point in my life, it turns out I am this adaptable and resilient person who wakes up every day and is no longer incredulous at my surroundings and the little person next to me.
The old saying rings true again: I wouldn’t change anything. I am better for knowing I can be someone I never thought I would be and completely at home. I take in the world and my experiences with an awareness that they are heavier than they used to be. I choose to care more and judge a lot less. I’m starting to forgive myself for things I never could have. I’m still here, a little softer all over, yet more in focus.
You’re not the only one!